(June 20, 2013)
Driving to California from Florida for the past four days, God has enabled me to reflect on the significance of these four days. The comparison of the four days to the four years is remarkable.
Day one, just like the first year after James’ death, I see how I was blindly led by God. I couldn’t see. The impact of his death too great so God held my hand and my heart as He led me. In that there is an optimism because I know He is with me. Just like the trip to Cali. The reality not evident so I’m just going through the motions.
Day two I fight the urge to give up. God is pushing me forward in His gentle way as I realize this trip is bigger than I thought.
“What was I thinking?”
Physical pain set in and I am uncomfortable most of the time.
“Should I take breaks or just push through? ” (should i compromise…do it my way…feed my flesh or wait on God?) is the constant question on my mind.
Day three I know that God doesn’t have to push me anymore. I feel Him alongside me guiding me and holding my hand. I have a renewed strength and the way seems clearer.
Day four is filled with optimism and hope but this time it’s covered in joy because I sense the nearness of the goal. I can see the finish. It’s a reality. I’m excited not just to finish but to celebrate the reason why He brought me here. I am tired and worn from the journey but I know the process made the victory possible and for that I am grateful. The past 3 days (or 3 years) doesn’t seem to weigh on me anymore. I feel accomplished and strong and anticipating the many blessings He has for me because I persevered.