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Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” Genesis 16:13
A dozen of long stemmed roses in various colors, a bouquet in a glass vase, appear on my desk on a mid-Friday afternoon. I was too busy to notice who delivered them but not to busy to wonder whom they were for. When I removed the attached card and noticed my name on the front of the envelope I thought it had to be a mistake. Who would send me roses? I sat down staring at the typed name on the front again, thinking that someone made a mistake. Finally, I opened the envelope and pulled out the note inside and read the scripted font, I did not recognize the name of the sender so I called the florist. “I love the beautiful arrangement of roses I received from your floral shop but I have no idea who sent them, can you give me some more information?” The clerk was able to give me the last name and address of the sender. None of this information helped me solve the mystery. As I sat at my desk, in the quietness of the room, I prayed, “Lord, give me truth. I am kind of freaked out here feeling very vulnerable. Please tell me who this person is.” I decided at that point (from a prompting of the Holy Spirit) to ask a fellow co-worker if they recognized the name. Sure enough they did! They described the person to me and I realized I didn’t even know his last name and honestly remembering having only one conversation with them months ago. I was devastated. “What did I do to lead this person on? How could I have made them think I was interested in them, I didn’t even remember their name?” That’s just where the emotions began. I ran from guilt, to shame, to embarrassment, to disappointment, to flat out heart break in a matter of thirty minutes. I allowed myself to believe, to dream, that God could actually be sending me a husband.
With the single men that have come into my life since James’ death, I have had my reasons to believe that God has forgotten me or at least doesn’t see me anymore. I wonder and cry at times looking up to heaven, “God, do you see me?”
Early on in my Christian walk, I can recall struggling with the presence of God. Over and over I would recite, “He will never leave me nor forsake me”. Hebrews 13:5 became my constant focus. I now can trust that God will never leave me today or ever. Then it seems I switched to “I know you won’t leave me but have you forgotten me?” Apparently the Israelites struggled with the same, asking God if He had forgotten them as well, to which He replies in Isaiah 49:15, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Today, my heart longs for God to see me. I know He will never leave me nor forget me but does He see me?
The next morning as I lay in bed thinking through all the details of the previous days events my mind rushes to two bits of details. First, I was told that upon delivery of the flowers they almost made a big mistake, my card was attached to a funeral arrangement! The delivery person noticed the mistake, quickly made the adjustment and left the correct rose bouquet. The other detail that kept echoing in my mind was the address of the person who sent me the flowers. The florist had given me this information and the staff person that confirmed his identity was also aware of his address. “Why, Lord, why are you having me remember these insignificant details?” 317, (the house number from the address). Funeral arrangement. Over and over I kept hearing these details in my mind and then the tears began to flood my face. 317. My wedding anniversary was March 17. Funeral arrangement. Not only does God see me but James does too. Both together. Christ and James in heaven, understanding my heart, my desires, my pain. I have not been left, nor forgotten, nor unseen. Like Hagar, despite the heartache, poor choices, and bad circumstances, God will honor me. He is El Roi, the God who sees.
This is a paper I was required to write for my graduate class Studies of Spiritual Leadership.
Abstract
The purpose of this paper is to establish a “personal leadership guide” using principles learned from the required texts in the Intermediate Study of Leadership in Woman’s Ministry course. This paper will address insights and practical applications from the books Spiritual Leadership: Moving People on to God’s Agenda by Henry & Richard Blackaby and Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders. In addition to the knowledge obtained from these books, biblical wisdom will be applied using the Holy Bible as a filter and sword to divide the truth (Hebrews 4:12). The combination of the reading, reflection and application of all of this material has provided a basic foundation for practical application of leadership in ministry with an emphasis in my personal and most important leadership role as a mother.
Key words: leadership, ministry, leader
Spiritual Leadership
Leader. The title causes one to visualize a person with great influence having a large penthouse corner office with windows, usually male, wearing a suit and tie with a six-figure or higher salary. Is that a true and accurate picture of a leader? Can you be a leader and still accomplish the will and plan of God? In this my Personal Leadership Guide, I would like to define the qualifications of a spiritual leader and how they apply to my own personal role as a leader.
What is Spiritual Leadership?
In both books on spiritual leadership by Henry and Richard Blackaby and J. Oswald Sanders, the authors discuss the role of influence in the life of a leader. “Influence is fundamental to a leaders role. It is not enough to know where people should go; leaders must have the capacity to move them to that place” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 147). Sanders agrees saying that “leadership is influence”. He continues by saying that “leaders move others” (Sanders, 2007, p. 27). In reading both books, I would naturally question, “Am I a leader?” The fact is we all have the ability to influence others. The key for the Christian is discovering if we are influencing towards God’s goals or our own agenda. Blackaby & Blackaby (2011) subtitled their book Moving People on to God’s Agenda. Whether we are called to lead a church, a Fortune 500 company, or our family, Blackaby & Blackaby (2011) outlines three worthy goals for the spiritual leader: developing people, equipping others, and glorifying God.
The greatest call as a leader is to develop people by taking them from where they are to where God wants them to be. “God’s primary concern for people is not results but relationship” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 127). A key quality of a spiritual leader is to hear, recognize and respond to the voice of the Lord. In developing people, the leader must then teach the same so they too will increase in their relationship with God. “Once the people learn to recognize God’s voice and determine his leading, the organization will have enormous potential for serving God” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 130). A part of developing people is to equip the people we lead for the same work. “One of the worst mistakes leaders commit is making themselves indispensable” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 133). It is the responsibility of the leader to develop leaders and not fail in this task as we have seen in the life of Samuel. As referenced in 1 Samuel 8:1-5, Samuel did not prepare a successor and therefore set up the nation of Israel for rebellion at his death. From developing people to equipping them to do the same, a spiritual leader needs to do this all within the context of glorifying God. “Spiritual leaders can not relentlessly pursue their own personal goals and glorify God at the same time” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 142). The most perfect example of a leader that glorified God in His leadership was Jesus. There were many instances when Jesus was asked to do something but obeyed the timing of His Father’s will rather than the requests of the people (John 2:1-4, John 11:6).
Personal Role as a Leader
With this definition of spiritual leadership in being able to influence people by leading them towards Gods agenda, I can apply this to my own personal life and leadership roles. With prayer and reflection of the content of both books the Lord showed me the most significant area of leadership in my life this season is motherhood. I began applying the principles learned not to my role as a teacher or vocation in the future in woman’s ministry but right now as a mother. It was quite powerful and enlightening. Sanders (2007) states that “to be spirit-filled is indispensable” (Sanders, 2007, p. 77). My role as a mom is to lead my daughter beyond the circumstances of her past, provide an example of intimacy with God and trust the legacy He is establishing.
With the death of my husband and Avery’s lack of father, I have always been concerned that she would have less of a chance to grow into an emotionally healthy young lady. The past does not have to have a negative effect on her future because; “numerous well known leaders lost a parent to death, usually their father, while they were still young” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 56). Because God is faithful and promises to be a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), I can know that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Beyond the circumstances of our past I have been able to submit to His will throughout the process and therefore God is bringing character development and personal growth for me and she follows my example (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 70). As I grow closer to the Lord and increase my intimacy with Him, I am watching her do the same. “As people grow in their relationship with God, they will hear from him and want to follow him. Following God will be their natural heart response” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 110).
Lastly, I can trust the legacy He is building through me. As with Abraham, “God didn’t chose Abraham because of his leadership ability. He selected Abraham because of his heart” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 81). It is the story of many saints of the Bible that God used to lead His people. “God may begin a work in one generation and bring it to fruition in succeeding generations” (Blackaby & Blackaby, 2011, p. 76). Therefore in this Personal Leadership Guide, I was able to apply the principles of the texts using the Bible for dividing the truth and applied it to my leadership role as a mother and found hope.
References
Blackaby, Henry & Richard (2011), Spiritual Leadership: Moving People on to God’s Agenda. Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group.
Sanders, J. Oswald (2007), Spiritual Leadership: Principles of Excellence for Every Believer. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers.
Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 3:8
Have you ever loved someone so much it physically hurt? Loved someone that it was a sacrifice beyond what you thought you could handle? Could only see what they “could be” instead of what they are? Yes, you answer? Then you have loved like Christ loves you.
The Greek word for “love” in the above verse is agape. The Biblical definition of that word is to “love deeply.” It’s the same word that is used in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. And Jesus describes it as the way He loves us in John 15:9, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.”
Now I will ask you again. Have you ever LOVED someone? Have you ever loved someone in the Biblical sense of love meaning agape them? Loved as Christ loves you, sacrificially, unconditionally, and persistently? Most can say they have but what happens when that love is tested to the degree Jesus’ love was tested for us? Think of the cross. Jesus is dying, bloody, bruised, and broken. The Bible says “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us,” 2 Corinthians 5:21. He didn’t do anything wrong but loved us enough to take the punishment for us! Not sure if I can really grasp that. I struggle to comprehend that love for me. What is really difficult, what really brings it to reality is when God gives me someone to love the same way and I am reluctant. Have you been there? Maybe it was with your rebellious teenager, or a parent. Someone you love betrays you and God calls you to forgive him or her. Maybe it is someone God has placed in your life to love who won’t receive that love and it’s constant rejection. For me, it was my husband. After all the deception, the infidelity, and lies, God still gave me love for this man despite my desire to love him. I can remember on numerous occasions begging God to take away the love I had for him, to set me free. In those years of fighting it, I missed the blessing. I was given the opportunity to keep my heart soft, moldable, humble, filled with love. God was teaching me long suffering and increasing my faith. He loved me and now He was teaching me exactly how much by giving me that same love for my husband in the worst season of his life. That kind of love “covers over a multitude of sins.” It covered my sins of pride and rebellion and James’ sins of unfaithfulness and disobedience.
Has God given you the blessing of loving someone who is unlovable? Perhaps that person was like James, running from God, hurt and in sin, needing desperately to see God’s love was true and He wants to use you as His billboard to display His agape love.
I don’t want to minimize the pain, the constant heartache and agony of rejection that is associated with loving someone who can’t receive it. But, God’s promises are true! James is in heaven. God is faithful!
…I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. Psalm 52:8
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19
“James, what was it? What brought you home? Why after all of these years?” I asked him. I wondered so many times after I saw the obvious change in his behavior and his eyes full of light and love for his God and his family. It seemed to happen overnight. Did he just drop to his knees one day and God miraculously touched him? Did he read a section of scripture and the Holy Spirit opened his eyes to truth? Or was is something horrific, like being awakened in a cold sweat from a nightmare or seeing a family suffer on a call he responded to at work? He was speechless at first in his response, and then the tears came. He looked at me and his eyes spoke first. Regret, with forgiveness, shame, with restoration. Then he spoke the words I can still feel in my heart today, “I couldn’t resist how much you loved me.”
Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8
James wasn’t speaking of my love for him; he was speaking of God’s love for him through me. I always believed, although wavered at times in that belief that God would set him free, save him, restore him to Himself first then to his family. God was using the gift of faith He had given me to wait and pray my husband home. Home to his family, but ultimately home to heaven!
Through the process of James’ struggle to come home, I still can recall watching the intense, progressive battle. Recently I read The Faith Factor by F. Chapin Marsh III. He perfectly explains what I witnessed in James’ life. He called it “the enemy within: the three enemies of faith.” These three enemies are fear, unbelief and indecision. Typical of James was his inability to make decisions. Following this backward, it was rooted in fear. Dr. Marsh explains it like this: (1) Fear: which considers every opportunity from the point of “worst case scenario.” (2) Unbelief: which shouts “YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!” (3) Indecision: which paralyzes with fear and unbelief any good thing God may have for us.
James had gotten so far from God and so far from his family that he believed at one point that he was “too far.” We all do the same in various areas of our life. The debt is “too much”, we will never pay it off. My health is “too poor” to even bother trying to exercise or eat right. I have messed up “too bad” that there is no turning back and it is beyond forgiveness. That is where James was with me. The affair was bad, but the child? How could he ever go back to me now and face Avery, after having a child with another woman? How could our marriage ever work again? How could I ever forgive him for that? There he found himself in FEAR. He considered every opportunity from the worst-case scenario. He believed that I would never be able to forgive him, move past this sin, and still love him. Even if I appeared to, one day it would “come up again.” He thought he would have to live with the remembrance of what he did for the rest of our lives. These fears lead to UNBELIEF. Not only did he not believe that he could be forgiven from God and I, but he did not believe that he was worthy of this forgiveness. He allowed the enemy to taunt him into believing that the sin he committed was unforgivable, the only one Jesus did not die for on the cross.
When they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:33-34
All sin was forgiven on the cross. From fear to unbelief, James was led to INDECISION. About three years before he came home he sat in this paralyzing fear and unbelief, which kept him away from his family and away from his God. I remember seeing his desire to come home. He would visit and spend time with Avery and struggle to leave. He was emotionally and spiritually torn. I hated it for him. It was like he was being tortured. The fear and unbelief was so overpowering he couldn’t make the decision to surrender to God, ask for forgiveness, receive that forgiveness then be reconciled to his family.
Thank God we all know the end of the story for James. God used me to love him with His unconditional love. The love that “covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8) and James accepted it. He surrendered his life to God, confessed his sins and asked for forgiveness. God extended His grace, forgave him and restored him. James was set free from fear and unbelief and was no longer paralyzed in indecision.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10
I can learn a lot from watching James. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. I can see it clearer in his life than in my own, which is so often true for most of us. With this new revelation, I have been challenged to look at my own life. Where are my fears? Where does the enemy have me dwelling in unbelief feeling as though I am not worthy? Am I paralyzed in indecision? Even as I write this, I can already recall several situations since James’ death where this was true. I found myself paralyzed not able to make a decision. No decision is a decision however. It usually is a decision to miss a blessing. I don’t want to get ripped off in this world. I want the abundant, full life that God wants to give me. So now, when someone asks me, “Hey, Tina wanna do….or how about this….?” My standard response is “sure!” It used to start with, “I can’t….or Let me think about it” Don’t get ripped off. James almost missed it. He almost missed freedom on earth. And I almost missed seeing it happen all from fear, unbelief and indecision.
He remembered us in our weakness. His love endures forever. And freed us from our enemies. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:23-24
The phone rang at 2:15 a.m. Surprisingly I awoke with ease and answered it, fully coherent. It was Sam. He lives on the west coast therefore it is 3 hours earlier in his time zone. He asked, “What are you doing, besides sleeping?” I laughed and despite the time and disturbance of sleep I was happy to hear his voice. It had been awhile. Our last conversation was not good, I was concerned for him but previous to that conversation which was over 2 years ago, he was well. Sam and I go way back. We both would tell you that God brought us together at the “perfect time.” We met in Arizona at a triathlon training camp. His marriage had just ended and he was disillusioned with God, expecting reconciliation but dealing with defeat. At the same time, James and I were just restored and I had much hope to offer. Sam and I continued this friendship by phone before and after the death of James. We would pray together often late at night and God used him to lift me when I was down and in return I was to encourage him when God gave me the strength. We both prayed consistently for the blessing of a spouse. We were true brother and sister in Christ, in unity with the Holy Spirit.
How good and pleasant is it when brothers love together in unity. Psalm 133:1
We knew God would not forget us and would give us both someone to love and share our relationship with God in this life. God answered Sam’s prayer first with his new wife Lisa. After 8 years of praying, God gave him the fulfillment of His promise in Lisa. Now married with 5 children (3 hers and 2 his from previous marriages) life was different for him and I faded into the past knowing my purpose to support him in his single life was complete.
So why would he be calling at two o’clock in the morning? I wondered. I listened as he described the events of the past few days. I heard him say in that three-hour conversation that he couldn’t find God. He described it as if there was a barrier; he was numb and couldn’t get past the head knowledge of God and His Word. He was crying out for a touch from Jesus. My heart ached for him because I couldn’t imagine not being able to “touch” my Savior. Since I gave Him my life in 1997, He has always been so real to me, especially since the death of my husband. I long for the moments when I can just sit and talk to Him, to feel His presence, to read His Word and hear Him speak. Sam didn’t have this. What do I tell him Lord? How can he get to You? We ended our conversation in prayer. He prayed, “Please God show up for me. Send someone to help me. Send Jesus Himself.”
The next day, I went for a swim. I knew I had to go, not just to keep up my training for the swim event I was doing in less than two weeks, but also to pray. In the solitude of the water and with the sound of nothing but moving water and rhythmic breathing, my mind clears and I can pray. During my warm up, I focus on my stroke, extending my arms, rotating my body and coordinating my kick. After about 15 minutes of repetitive laps I found myself standing at the lane end, arms crossed, head down on the cold concrete pool ledge and the tears fell. I removed my goggles and prayed, “Lord, Sam is hurting. He is my friend. Please help him.” A simple childlike prayer, its all I had. I did not know how to pray but God heard the deepest cry of my heart. I hurt for my friend. Sam needed Jesus and I was asking God to show him Jesus!
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…Romans 8:26
That same night, Sam calls. I didn’t expect a call that soon and was apprehensive to hear what he was going to say. But when he started with “You are not going to believe what happened today.” I sat up straight with excitement. I knew God answered my prayer. He saw Jesus! “I laid down for a nap this afternoon and within five minutes I had a dream”, he began telling me. “I saw a beautiful face and it said ‘don’t worry you are going to be ok’, and then I woke up.” He went on to say that he fell back to sleep and a few minutes later he had another dream that was prompting him to get his gun and stand with it cocked at the front door. Someone was going to knock on the door and he needed to be ready but not to shoot. Fear overcame me at this moment in his story. I had been concerned for his “mental health” and actually prayed against any thoughts of suicide or other irrational thoughts he may have. He said, “I awoke from the dream and was confused. I actually considered getting the gun and keeping it next to the couch just in case, but then I heard a knock at the door.” As he approached the door he saw a uniformed officer on the other side. It was the police! He let the officer in and through conversation learned that his wife Lisa had called the police and asked if they would check on him, she was concerned about him. The officer spoke of his fellow officer that was a pastor and offered to ask him to stop by. Sam agreed and within the hour the pastor/officer came along with his wife Lisa. Sam opened up to this pastor explaining what he had been feeling and the struggle that he had, the emptiness and search for God, and his recent alcoholic binges. The pastor said, “I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself. I can help you.”
As I listened to Sam describe his day, I noticed my mouth was wide open. I hadn’t shut it the whole time, astounded at the faithfulness of God. But did Sam see it? Did Sam connect and see what I saw? I asked him, “Sam, what do you make of it all? Who was the beautiful face? Who told you to get your gun and stand there but not shoot, and why?” I asked. He told me, “The beautiful face was Jesus! It was Jesus himself!” I heard a crackle in his voice. “I had an encounter with God. He came first, then Satan followed. Satan was trying to get me killed. If that cop entered my home with me standing there with a cocked gun after a phone call from my wife telling him I may not be ‘emotionally stable’ he would have shot me.”
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good… Genesis 50:20.
This cop would lead him to the person that understood where he was spiritually, who had battled the same “demons” and could help him. I finally took my hand and lifted my jaw and shut my mouth. God had done it! He heard our prayers and answered them.
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4
(“Faith” Assignment for my Graduate class: “Feed and clothe a homeless person”)
At the beginning of the course, upon reading this assignment, I prayed, “Lord, I often feed people by providing meals to those who have had surgery or lost a loved one. I also donate clothes that don’t fit or I don’t want anymore to thrift stores that clothe the homeless, but I really want to clothe and feed a homeless person, someone on the street. Will you provide that opportunity for me? I want to know them, really see the need and specifically meet it. Provide that opportunity for me in the next two weeks.” Periodically throughout those two weeks I would send up a “reminder prayer” to the Lord. “Lord, my assignment is due soon. I know it’s not about me, but I really want to help someone. Did I miss the opportunity? Did you provide it for me but I was too busy to notice? Forgive me Lord if I did give me another chance and help me see it and respond. Help me have a heart like Yours.”
Earlier today, the day before my assignment was due, I went to visit my daughter working at Chick-Fil-a. As I pulled up, I saw her in the parking lot with the paramedics loading a very large woman into the fire rescue truck. Avery caught my eye and looked very sad. She told me later that the woman, Patricia, was in the restaurant and requested she call 911 for her because her legs hurt. Avery sat with Patricia waiting for fire rescue to come and learned that she was homeless but was waiting for her sister to wire her some money. As she told me the story, I thought that maybe I should go to the hospital to see how I might help her but then thought better of it knowing they probably did not admit her and I wouldn’t be able to find her. Later that night, Avery and I went shopping. We were about 6 miles south of Chick-Fil-a on the same road when we both noticed a very large woman wrapped in a bed sheet. Initially she was siting on a bench at the bus stop, but then stood up and opened the sheet. She was completely naked! We both gasped and Avery yelled “That’s Patricia!” I quickly pulled into the next parking lot and we sat in the car gasping for breath. We couldn’t believe what we just saw. The sight of a huge naked woman was shocking enough but that we knew the women was mind blowing! Trying to organize our thoughts, I parked the car, turned off the ignition and said, “We’re going to pray.” I struggled to pray, not knowing how or what to do, so I just told God that. “Lord, we just saw the same woman who was in Chick-Fil-a today. She is naked, homeless, and sitting at a bus stop. What do we do? We can’t just leave her there. What do we do?” I decided to drive my car closer and Avery and I got out to talk to her. Avery was so sweet, friendly and gentle with her. She asked her if she remembered her. Patricia replied, “Yes, you are Avery from Chick-fil-a.” She told us of her transport to the hospital and that she threw away her dress because it was dirty. She asked us to go to Target, buy her a size 4x dress and she had $4. Conveniently placed was a mall with several stores so we were able to buy her several dresses and undergarments. We also purchased some bananas, apples, oranges, carrots and a fruit drink, thinking she has access to food but not healthy food. We found her on the bus bench right where we left her. She was excited to see what we brought her and helped her get dressed. She dropped the sheet and stood up completely naked while we got the dress on her. She squealed with delight “I love it! It’s beautiful!” My eyes began to water, trying to hide my tears so that I didn’t embarrass her, I agreed with her. Avery was amazing with her. She told her how beautiful she looked and that the color was perfect on her. She continued with offering the fruit drink and some carrots. As they sat and chatted we found out that indeed her sister was to wire her $200 tomorrow. When we asked where she was going tonight she replied “I’m sleeping right here. I’ll be safe. Tom over there (she pointed to a valet across the street at a restaurant) will watch me and make sure I am ok for the night.” We asked why she didn’t go to the shelter but avoided talking about it. She seemed to know a lot of people and her surroundings well and even spoke about a former job she had with the police department. All the while I stood and listened as Avery asked her questions and loved on her. My heart was breaking and I was trying so hard to hold back the tears. Before we parted Avery held her hand and prayed for her. We were comforted to know that her mind seemed sensible, her thoughts stable. She was able to recall Avery’s name and earlier events of the day. She even told us that tomorrow is Sunday and she was going to church which she named. Apparently they help her with food and put her in a hotel sometimes. Walking away from her was very difficult. I felt like my heart was shattered in a million pieces, knowing we did all we could for her was not enough. I wondered what brought her to this point in her life, who hurt her, would she die on the streets? As soon as I got in the car the tears came, my heart ached for her. We drove home in silence then realized that God had answered my prayer; He brought a homeless person for me to clothe and feed today. Some how that brought me peace, God’s design. But my heart still aches knowing I get to sleep in a warm clean bed tonight and Patricia doesn’t.
Lord Jesus, thank you for bringing Patricia to me today, for letting me share this with Avery. Thank you for Avery’s compassion and strong spirit that not only loved on her, clothed and feed her, but also made sure she knew You as well. Protect Patricia Lord and all those who don’t have a safe place to sleep tonight. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:6-7
Little faith, great faith, perfect faith, is there really a difference? Isn’t faith, just faith?
Recently I was challenged by Pastor Chapin Marsh’s book “ The Faith Factor.” He expounds on the Three Stages of Faith first preached by Charles Stanley. According to these men, the first stage of faith is “little faith.” I know this stage very well and can identify with it, often finding myself in that stage saying I know God can do it but will He? This faith relies on logic and experiential information at our sensory level and it is a restless faith. The next stage is “great faith” characterized by God not only can do it but will do it. With previous experience with God’s work, I can relate to this stage and dwell there often as well. The last stage is “perfect faith.” It says, God can, will and has already done it! Wow! That is perfect faith and the place I want to be most often. These penetrating descriptors of the stages of faith has challenged me to such a degree that I began to look at circumstances of my life and held them up in reflection. Where am I? I found conviction in knowing that I often walk in “little faith” but was also able to find a time in my life where “perfect faith” was displayed. Remembering a specific season; it was about a year and half before James’ death when in prayer, the Lord led me to a heart of “perfect faith.” After all those years praying for God to deliver James, change his heart, bring him back to God and his family, he did it. I resolved that day, that I had prayed for James long enough, it was done, I just couldn’t see it yet. I walked in “perfect faith” and found rest. Less than a year later, I saw the evidence. James returned to his God and his family and our relationship was restored. We lived the evidence of this changed life and restored family for almost one year before God took him home. He completed the work in James and now he is glorified in heaven.
I decided to walk in “perfect faith” in the most current situation in my life right now, the 5k swim for Operation 300. Upon registering for the event, they ask for a fundraising goal of $500. Aside from training for 6 weeks, 5:30 a.m. in the gym pool for an hour in preparation for a 3 mile ocean swim, I needed faith to believe that God would provide the donation. Using “great faith” I made Facebook posts, tweeted the need, and even texted the link to several people. The donations were not coming in as I thought they would and I began to resort back to “little faith”, knowing God could but would He? God was calling me to a bigger faith, He wanted me to have “perfect faith,” so I prayed, “God I need $500 for my fundraising goal, please provide, I am releasing it to You and believe it is done.”
I decided to read some of Pastor Chapin’s book including the Three Stages of Faith to my high school students today. I confessed that I was choosing to walk in “perfect faith” with my fundraising goal. I even prayed the same with them in class. Later that day, a bumped into a friend at work. We engaged in conversation when he said “Hey, I donated to Operation 300.” I smiled and thanked him, thinking he probably donated $25-50. Then he said “And, your $500 fundraising goal is met.” Apparently after viewing the webpage he was compelled to donate the entire $500! I asked him when he did this, to which he replied, “yesterday.” As I was praying with my students with “perfect faith”, expecting that it was done, it was! Can you imagine the smile on my Savior’s face? I am not sure what brought me greater joy, meeting the fundraising goal or knowing that God was pleased. Actually I do know because He whispered this to me… “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
PS: Any other donations I receive will go to providing books to the widows of these fallen heroes. See my home page of this website for Operation 300 video, webpage and my donation link.
I just happened to stumble upon this journal entry on my computer. It was written 3 months before James died.
The story of Robert
12/13/08
Today is Love out Louder Day for Calvary Chapel. It is the day that thousands of volunteers show up at the church at 7:30 a.m. and are sent out into the community to love on Broward County. They go to convalescent centers to jails to the beach. Anywhere people are that need to know about Jesus. I wanted to go and tried everything I could to get into a ministry group but failed. My daughter, Avery had a cheerleading competition at 9:00 a.m. which prevented me from participating in any of the outreaches. For weeks I prayed “God, I want to go out and tell someone of your love but how can I and still have Avery to her competition?” I resolved to try to shine the light at the competition instead. I took her coach a gift bag with an invitation to Christmas Eve service and a gift card to the church restaurant and prayed he would accept. He didn’t even care to open the gift while I was there but I trusted God would work. I left Avery and her dad at a local surf shop to wrap gifts and fundraise for their upcoming missions trip and came home for some lunch that same afternoon. My neighbor stopped by and brought me homemade tomato soup. Grilled cheese and tomato soup sounded good and I sat down to eat. As I prayed over my food, I was reminded of all the people loving on Broward County and was still a little sad I never got to tell someone that Jesus loves them when my phone rang. It was an out of state number. I answered and found out it was a wrong number. He was very apologetic and said “that’s weird, my phone just called this number and I don’t know why, I was trying to call a friend, I am sorry”. I told him it was ok and hung up. That’s when I realized I had missed the opportunity! That was the person I was to tell of God’s love! I quickly repented and asked God for a second chance. I text the number and said “wait, you didn’t call me by accident, God has a message for you”. Of and on we texted for about an hour. I asked him if he knew Jesus and if he died today would he go to heaven. He was receptive at first then started getting freaked out. He thought I was some radical Jesus freak. Truth be told, I am! He said he knew Jesus but was not going to heaven. That’s when I knew for sure this was the person I prayed for. This man needed truth! I told him to go to biblegateway.com and look up the Romans 3:22-24 “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” It was truth telling time. He responded by asking if he could call me and then never did. The enemy won again, but not for long. I awoke the next morning praying for him. I had a early run planned with a friend so before I headed out I prayed and texted him to go on calvaryftl.org at 8:00 a.m. and click on live service. “God has a message for you”, I told him. Never heard back. I decided that week to just pray and I knew God was working in this man’s life. This was not just a coincidence. God truly did have a message for him and He was going to get it to him one way or another. As the weeks past I periodically would think of Robert and pray for him, wondering how God was trying to speak to him. I promised God that if he gave me a verse for him I would text it to him. It was on December 27, as I sat in church God gave me the verse to send to Robert, 1 Corinthians 2:9 … \”No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him\”. He thanked me for the verse but I sensed some sarcasm in the tiny text. I asked him if he loved God and he said yes. I told him to go to Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, \”Jesus is Lord,\” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. He looked it up and texted it back to me. I began to take him through the verse first asking, “Robert, do you say Jesus is Lord”? He would replied “Yes, Tina, Yes!”. Then I asked him “do you believe that God sent his son Jesus to die for you so that your sins would be forgiven and you would have eternal life?” He texted back “OMG Tina, YES, YES!”. At this point, I still sensed sarcasm but continued in faith. Then, I said, “you are going to heaven, so the next time some random girl eating a grilled cheese asks you if you love Jesus and when you die are you going to heaven you can say YES to both”. Then came the heart break text. He replied “I only said those things to placate you Tina, but bless your little ole heart”. He was jacking me around! I was so angry. What a jerk, I thought. After the initial let down, I realized I was just as big of a jerk when others tried to tell me about God. I remembered all of those times I would blow people off when they would “push their Bible on me”. I repented and prayed. Still believing God would do the work and didn’t need me. That night as I prayed for Robert, I promised God I would not give up. I read, 1 Peter 4:14 “if you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you” and 1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” earlier that week and knew that God was encouraging me to continue in the work He started in me. I resolved then to text him every morning with just a verse. It was God’s Word he needed, not my commentary. “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ”, Romans 10:17. So I added him to my Bible verse text list. I have three of my former students on that list and I added him the next morning. On 12/29 I texted them all 1 John 1:5-10 “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives”. He replied soon after with “Good morning, are you a reborn evangelical?” And I replied, “yes, are you being a jerk again?” No response. The next day (12/30) I texted my list including him, John 13:10 A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.\” This was the verse that stood out to me in my reading and I questioned God. I asked him why should I send this to Robert, isn’t it Jesus talking to the believers and Robert doesn’t believe or does he? I sent it in faith, knowing His Word would accomplish what it set out to do. Robert quickly replied that I was scaring him again. I asked why and he said “I thing you are a psycho evangelical…no offense…and that last verse make no sense to me”. Well, that did it! I went off, texting like a maniac. I sent six or eight in a row ignoring his replies. I basically told him he could stereotype me anyway he wanted but the truth is that I am just being obedient to God. I retold him the story of how I prayed and my phone rang. He called and I was doing what God told me to do. I told him how I was saved by crying out to God one day saying “God, I know you exist, but who is this Jesus”. God lead me to Calvary Chapel twelve years ago to hear the truth. I was doing this same for him. Soon after my “text explosion”, my phone rang. I noticed it was a local, 954 number so I answered it. It was him! All this time I thought he was in NY and he lives right here in Hollywood! He began to tell me his story and what a story it was! About 12 years ago, living on the streets, having spent time in prison, he came to the point where he was desperate. He cried out to God to take his life or change it. He describes that night, sitting on a milk crate next to railroad tracks crying until morning. When he awoke the next day, he had a peace, “like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders” he described. Since then, he went back to school, got his degree and certifications and is now a social worker in Hollywood. He walked with the Lord for about 6 years where God did miracles in his life and then as he described it, God wasn’t doing it anymore. Robert experienced great things from God, radically saved but unable to walk in faith he drifted from God. Now the text he sent me the first day we communicated made sense to me. He said “But I found Jesus and then lost him…I took it for granted, you don’t get it back”. The enemy was successful in pulling this servant way, discouraging him and stealing the plan God had for his life (at least temporarily). Here was God, speaking to him in the only way Robert knew, by a miracle. I knew then that God had his hand on this man and he had no choice but to get back on the path to righteousness. I told him, “Here’s what you are going to do. Will you do what I say, Robert?” He hesitated and I said, “Say yes Robert, just say yes”. He said yes and I told him to write this down. Calvary Chapel, 2401 W Cypress Creek Road, 9:00 tomorrow night. He said, “what is tomorrow night”? I said “New Year’s Eve!” He cried “Oh, my God!” He promised to be there.
“Therefore, the LORD, the God of Israel, says: I promised that your branch of the tribe of Levi would always be my priests. But I will honor those who honor me, and I will despise those who think lightly of me. 1 Samuel 2:30
“Here we go” she texted right before she took her math final. I knew it was time, I noticed the clock and had already prayed for her. There was a lot in those three simple words. I heard her say: “I am about to take the last math final of my life, thank goodness. Not sure what will happen in the end but I have studied, done my best and now I am just going to give what I have. It’s not fair that I had to teach this content to myself, that my professor was less than adequate. But, I took the initiative, was diligent, and got the material from another student because I want to do well. Not going to depend on someone to teach it to me, although that is what I paid for! No use dwelling on that now, it will be all over soon. I emailed the department head, explained the situation, voiced the facts in love and truth hoping justice will be served. After all, this is college and I kind of expected more. I need this A to boost my GPA so I can get into nursing school. Here we go…” To which I replied, ““Honor God. Do your best, press in, use that amazing mind He gave you and let Him take care of result.” She probably just nodded and said “Gotcha Mom, right with you,” (maybe she added a little eye roll, she is 18 after all).
In “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”, by Tedd Tripp he reminds us of our call as parents. Yes, call. God has placed us in authority of our children for His purpose. We show our love and obedience to God by disciplining and teaching our children to do the same. He says that there are two issues that feed into the person our children become (1) the shaping influences of life, and (2) their Godward orientation (Tripp, 2005, p. 24). We understand how we are to shape the influences in our children’s lives. We control their environment by their relationships, education, and activities. Most of these influences are “controllable” but some are out of our control. It is a fact, we don’t need to see statistics, a child that grows up in a family with two stable parents has a greater advantage of a “better life” than one that does not. I have to admit that fighting for our marriage so Avery would have both parents and therefore a better chance at a stable, fulfilling life was a primary motivation for me to pray for restoration of our family. When James died, my heart was crushed in more ways than one. What now Lord? What chance does she have now?
Sitting at a table in Chick-fil-A last week, I find myself in conversation with four, twenty-something year-old students. Each of them friends with Avery and influenced by her life. We gathered together to start a Bible Study. When I asked them to tell me a little of their spiritual journey and what brought them to Christ, they all smiled and giggled and said “Avery.” Wow! I was unable to control all of the shaping influences of her life but God made sure that her “Godward orientation” was right on. These young people saw something different in her, a purity, a peace, a purpose and not because she had the “perfect life.” I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. Proverbs 8:17
I recently wrote this in response to Tedd Tripp’s book: In general, parents want their children to be “successful” so they can have happy, comfortable lives. I believe our society defines “success” by material possessions, career satisfaction, physical ability and health, and emotional happiness. As parents we feed into that mentality and involve our children in a broad range of activities not considering if Christian values are being taught through the activity. We also try to make sure they are developing “self-esteem” but not considering if the activity is teaching our children to esteem others. Our goals as parents can influence our children in a non-biblical way. As we try to “get them saved”, religiously conform to family devotions or worship time, succumb to the pressure of well behaved kids, or an excellent education we could possibly be turning them away from God. “If you teach them to use their ability, aptitudes, talents, and intelligence to make their lives better, without reference to God, you turn them away from God” (Tripp, 2005, pg. 45). We are sending mixed signals to our children when we press them towards goals that are unbiblical. God says we are to do everything for His glory. We need to direct our children to God and not to their own resources.”
Before you start applauding my fabulous parenting skills and my perfect child, let me say, DON’T! The Bible says, “Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me,” John 12:26. This is simply an example of a perfect Father keeping His perfect promise. It has nothing to do with me.
My prayer for all of us, parent or child, in authority or under authority is this, that we will call on Him, and He will answer us; He will be with us in trouble, He will deliver us and honor us, Psalm 91:15
..the Lord your God fights for you, just as he promised. So be very diligent to love the Lord your God… Joshua 23:10-11
It was a typical afternoon; final school bell rings and at about 3:15 p.m. in walks my most favorite kindergartener, Sonia. Her beaming smile makes me anticipate what she is holding in her hands, a little plastic jar with a white lid. Inside I see what appears to be a few insects. She walks over to me and excitedly proclaims, “Look, Mrs. Reeder, ladybugs!” I throw my hands up with surprise as her smile widens. “Wow, now you have a pet. And they are beautiful lady bugs,” I respond. “Did you name them?” I ask. “Yes”, she replies, “this one is sparkles, this one is princess”. She continued to tell me the names of each little insect in the clear plastic jar. I can tell from the look on her mom, Melissa’s face, she is not as excited as we are. It wasn’t until the next day I found out why.
First thing that next morning, Melissa walks in shaking her head. “Those ladybugs. I knew it was a bad idea to give them to a five year old”, she said. I couldn’t imagine why she felt that way until she told me the story. When Sonia got home she showed them to her grandmother. “G-ma, look what I got today, ladybugs!” G-ma no doubt with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart hugged her sweet little granddaughter as she viewed the contents of the jar. Then Sonia received probably the most puzzling statement she has heard in her short life, “Let’s go outside and let them go.” Sonia with a furrowed brow said, “No, they are my ladybugs. I am not letting them go.” A wise women who has raised three of her own children and no doubt been in this place before, tells Sonia to go sit in her closet and talk to God about that. She explains that’s how the ladybugs feel, like they are trapped in a closet and to ask God if that’s how He wants them to feel. With shoulders slumped and a tearful face, Sonia goes to her closet. Mom and G-ma can hear the precious little sniffles and mumblings between irregular breaths as she talks to God. She emerges from the closet and reluctantly reports, “Ok, I will let them go. Because God told me to.” They take her outside and gingerly open the jar to let her new best friends escape to the world from which they came.
As typical with young minds, they quickly forget and move on to the next distraction in their day. After dinner, G-ma suggests they go for a bike ride. Sonia and her little sister gets their bikes and goes outside just as the sun begins to set. It’s a beautiful evening and G-ma knows it will be a quick ride because their little legs can’t handle much. On their way back home, Sonia abruptly stops and points to her shoulder. “G-ma, look!” There on her sleeve was a ladybug. She asks her grandmother, “Do you think it is sparkles”? To which the wise grandmother responds, “Yes, I do. I think she came back to thank you for letting her go free”.
As Melissa tells me this story, my heart is overwhelmed. How precious is the life of a small child, so innocent and honest. Then, conviction comes over me. I hear my heavenly Father whisper in my ear, “You have ladybugs in a jar too Tina. There are things in your life I have asked you to let go of. You have put dreams, relationships and people in a jar. It’s time you open that jar and trust me.” Wow. How is it that the story of a little girl and her insects can convict the heart of a middle-aged widow? Because The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, Psalm 103:8. Thank you Holy Spirit for teaching me to trust You more through the heart of a five year old and her plastic jar of bugs. Please give me the courage to open the jar and let go like Sonia did.
“You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God… Exodus 20:3-6
I can honestly say that I have never “carved an image” and “bowed down or served them”, but I have had and do have idols in my life. Webster’s dictionary defines idolatry as “the worship of a physical object as a god.” In the days of the Old Testament their gods were made of stone or wood but today we need to look beyond an idol as a statue and see it is a matter of the heart. Today, our modern idols are many and varied. Although we don’t typically bow before a statue, idolatry comes in the form of pride, greed, gluttony, passions, or selfishness. These “conditions of the heart” show themselves in our obsession with self, our needs, our wants, or our desires. To find the idols in your life, consider asking yourself the questions I have been asking myself the past few days. (1) What in my life if removed today would destroy me to the point that I could not function? (2) Where do I spend my money? What material thing can I not do without? (3) When receiving difficult or joyful news, what do I do with it? Who do I want to share it with? Where do I go to celebrate or grieve?
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
Colossians 3:5
Idolatry has also been defined as anything more important than God. While from my mouth I can say that I love God more than anything and anyone, what do my actions say? With the recent news that our Pastor has resigned due to “moral failure”, I have been thrown into grief and confusion. This past week I have found myself in a full range of emotions as is typical when receiving devastating news. Similar to the day James died, I felt angry, hurt, betrayed but with a covering of hope and peace. I called a friend that is not in our church to “vent” and found myself crying uncontrollably saying, “I know the he is just a man, I don’t worship him, I worship Jesus, but this really hurts.” I remember having the same sort of feelings when James died. I was not angry with God but I was angry. It hurt to lose him.
In the seven years that James and I were separated I dealt with a variety of idols in my life. The main one that took awhile to identify and confess was the idol of marriage. You think, “marriage is a good thing how can that be an idol”? It was an idol for me because it was rooted in pride. One day the Lord spoke to my heart and asked me, “What if I do not restore your marriage? What if you divorce?” It was like I was just punched in the kidney. I couldn’t breathe and felt the blow of devastation. Then all of this would be for nothing! Then I would have failed! God gently whispered, “let go, this is my work.” I am grateful that God prepared me for the eventual day when James would be gone from this life. He helped me remove him as an idol along with the idolatry rooted in pride I had as a married women before He took him home. Perhaps that is how I have been able to survive these last five years single, trusting God’s will for my relationships.
So what is it for you? (1) What in your life do you hold so tightly that if it were removed today you wouldn’t survive without it? A person most likely, a pastor, a spouse, a child, a parent. Who do you love more than God? (2) Where do you spend your money? Check out your credit card or bank statements for the answer. Is it on food, a hobby, sport, or activity to keep you busy and entertained? (3) Who do you call when you are sad and “need advice”? Do you call a person or do you pray first? If that person is not available to talk do you find yourself panicked and lost until you speak to them?
In the trap of idolatry not only do we hurt the heart of God with our disobedience but we also hurt ourselves. We get ripped off on what would be best for us because we are being selfish and prideful. Like a gracious, loving, Father, God has so much for us and He wants to bless us, often times we hinder that blessing.
Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.
Jonah 2:8
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19
Mary seems to get my attention in the scriptures. Maybe its because I can relate to her as a mom. Seeing the movie “The Passion of Christ” some of the scenes that impacted me the most were Mary’s suffering. Regardless of the fact she knew He was fully God and fully man, He was still her baby boy. As a mom, my heart aches for her, watching her baby boy, let alone her God, suffer the way He did. Maybe Mary catches my attention because I grew up in the Catholic Church. We are taught to reverence Mary, worship her, pray to her, love her. After study of the scriptures I have gone from reverence of her to more accurately relating to her. It’s in the book of Luke that I really see her and connect with her
Another version of Luke 2:19 reads “Mary kept these things in her heart and thought about them often.” One needs to read the previous verses in Luke chapter two to see what “things” scripture is referring. The word “thing” in the Greek is rhema which means to be “uttered by the living voice, thing spoken, word”. The “spoken word” and the “thing” that Mary “thought about often” is the same truth that the shepherds heard in verse 11, “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord.” Even after giving birth to Jesus as a virgin, it seems that Mary still struggles with the truth that He is the Lord. She pondered this truth which could be translated as “struggled with in her mind”. Later in verse 51, it says she “kept” these things in her heart, which could be translated similar as “carefully or continually kept” this truth in her heart. Fact is, Mary struggled with the truth. This beautiful miracle that she was a grand part of, her baby boy, was in fact the Messiah.
Wow! How could she doubt. She gave birth to him, an angel visited and told her, even her husband was told in a dream, but yet she still struggled. I wonder if it wasn’t that she struggled to believe what was told to her but that she struggled to want to believe what was told to her. She knew the scriptures, she knew the path of suffering ahead for her son, but yet, she “pondered it in her heart”. She remain obedient in the struggle of the truth. Mary gives me hope and inspiration. It is that verse, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19, that I had printed and taped to my computer monitor for three years as my inspiration for James’ return and restoration of our marriage. Along with Luke 2:45 “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.” I, like Mary, was struggling with the truth of the promise that the Lord had given me. I didn’t fully understand but I pondered it in my heart, knowing that God would bless me if I just walked faithfully in His plan. I can’t compare Jesus’ suffering and death to James’ but I think you can see how my heart can connect with Mary through his death. All the while, God was preparing me for the restoration of our marriage but the bigger purpose was James’ restoration to God. Jesus came to this Earth to seek and save the lost, (Luke 19:10), heal the sick and show love and forgiveness. But His bigger purpose was to die and pay the penalty for our sins so we can have eternal life (Romans 4:25)…restoration to God.
Do you struggle to want to believe what God has told you? Possibly because you fear the suffering that may come along with it? “Fear not, for I am with you…” (Isaiah 41:10). If God is with you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31)? Trust His promises today, and like Mary we will receive the crown of life.
March 17, 2014. Happy 24th Wedding Anniversary James…I will celebrate God’s work in and through our marriage until I see you again.